My nine-year-old daughter is an amazing child who is spiritually connected, peaceful and compassionate. She is one of the coolest people I know. So, it freaks me out to see how wigged she gets sometimes during social situations.
My daughter is a LEADER not a follower. Not a sheep. That is good news. She won’t be tempted to smoke in the bathroom or jump off the bridge when all of the other girls with no self-esteem are going down the slippery slope…. Or will she? (But I digress)
I LOVE how strong she is and I have done much to build up her confidence in who she naturally is as a person. She is a future world leader who will save the planet from destruction while being her own style maven, karate champion, comedian and best selling author.
She is pretty stubborn about using “her” ideas during creative playtime. She is after all an “only child” and gets to do whatever she wants most of the time. (AND her ideas TOTALLY ROCK!) We strategize endlessly on how she can tame her enormous ego without losing her “edge”, AND keep her ZEN… ZEN.
One day after a “break down in world peace talks” in the back yard, a.k.a. “a riff in a play date”, what she said surprised me. “Mommy, I have an evil, mean side that comes out some times. I promise I am going to lock it up and never let it out again.” She pretended to have a key that locked her heart and then tossed the key.
Then I said, “Elizabeth, what you did had nothing to do with you being EVIL. You are pure LOVE! You are a strong personality like your mama.” Then we chatted about how a great leader and friend empowers others and allows herself to be inspired by THEIR ideas. Yadda yadda yadda…
Then I took the opportunity to say, “While we are on that topic, everyone has an “evil side”. Especially… I mean EVEN Mommy. Most people are too afraid to admit that. It is part of being HUMAN. Thank you for telling me about your true feelings. Now let me tell you something. I don’t want you to lock up your evil side. You know those creeps who offer kids candy, or the person who tries to touch you or do anything inappropriate or harmful to you? I want you to unleash your most horrific EVIL side on THEM. That is what it is for. I’m not suggesting that it will happen to you. I’m just saying that you have permission to defend yourself when you are in serious danger. You are my Karate Freight Train! You are so strong and so smart. And your HEART is one of compassion. SOOO NO unleashing EVIL on our sweet friends. Let’s go apologize and see how we can compromise. Are we Cool?”
“Cool, thanks mom.”
HUG. (and cue dramatic music)